Angels have Fallen

I feel kinda sorry for Elizabeth Banks.  The actress-cum-producer/director’s reboot attempt of ‘Charlie’s Angels’ flopped at the box office, prompting her to make dumb excuses like “the movie bombed because people just don’t want to see females in lead action roles,” presumably by which she meant because men, the main audience of such movies, are sexist and would prefer to see their own gender filling those roles.  I went to see ‘Charlie’s Angels’ anyway, before she made those comments mind you, because I fondly remember watching reruns of the syndicated TV show as a kid and liked the campy 2000 and 2003 CA movies starring Cameron Diaz, Drew Barrymore and Lucy Liu well enough. Mostly it’s probably because I thought Brit actress Naomi Scott is pure hotness.

 

In CA 2019, Bosley is a rank rather than a person.  “Charlie’s Angels” (patent pending) is now an international espionage/law enforcement agency, staffed with lovely but lethal female 007’s all over the world and answering to a slew of Bosleys acting as handlers much like CIA station chiefs manage the agents under their charge.  The movie follows the adventures of two sassy angels – what about the third, you ask? – played by Kristen Stewart and Ella Balinska as they attempt to stop a mysterious criminal mastermind from “weaponizing” an energy device thingamajig that looks suspiciously like the Tesseract in the Marvel universe, with the help of a nerdy computer scientist-turned-whistleblower played by Naomi Scott (there’s the answer to your third angel question).

 

CA 2019 took on the style and sheer over-the-top ridiculousness of the ‘Fast & Furious’ movies while trying too hard to be fun and flirty and sexy at the same time.  It has its rare moments, but the movie fell flat for the most part due to its paper-thin (and rather dumb) plot, easily predicted "twist," tired action sequences that lost their “wow” factor about three or four ‘Fast & Furious’ movies ago, and the mere fact that Stewart, Balinska and Scott just couldn’t manage to replicate the same campy synergy Diaz, Barrymore and Liu had in the 2000 and 2003 films.  Those McG flicks grossed about $260 million apiece by the way, Elizabeth Banks, so don’t tell me that men don’t go see women kick ass in the movies.

Grade: C