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Tuesday, January 28, 2014

"I, Hollywood Retread"

Many have bemoaned the fact that Hollywood is creatively bankrupt and utterly devoid of ideas when it comes to movies.  Indeed, megaplexes are flooded with franchises, sequels, remakes and reboots, or costly made-for-3D-and-IMAX CG-heavy extravaganzas overladen with style but little substance.  Lionsgate’s ‘I, Frankenstein’ has the unique and dubious distinction of being guilty on both counts.
 
Based on a graphic novel and ‘original’ screenplay by ‘Underworld’ creator Kevin Grevioux, there is absolutely nothing that is original about ‘I, Frankenstein.’  This movie about a mad scientist's creation named Adam, a man ’without a soul’ who held the key to humankind’s survival (or destruction) and who's caught in a centuries-long hidden war between the forces of good and evil, is basically a reboot of 'Underworld' couched in new trappings.  All Kevin Grevioux did here was to adapt the ‘Underworld’ screenplay by rote for ‘I, Frankenstein,’ replacing Vampires and Lycans (werewolves) with Gargoyles and Daemons, as well as substituting Adam for the half-Vampire/half-Lycan ‘Hybrid’ in ‘Underworld’ played by Scott Speedman.  Talk about laziness.
 
As Adam, Aaron Eckhardt cannot be any less colorful or one-dimensional if he tried.  ‘I, Frankenstein’ even brought back Bill Nighy as the head daemon-prince Naberius, who is this movie's counterpart to Viktor, the diabolical vampire lord he portrayed in ‘Underworld.'  Yeah, that’s the one whose top half of the head was neatly sliced off by Kate Beckinsale’s Selene in a somersault.
 
“Central Casting.  How may I help you?”
 
“We need an actor over 50 to play an evil supernatural villain overlord.”
 
“How about Bill Nighy?”
 
“Perfect!”
 
Grade: F
 
 I just saved you another 10 bucks.  You're welcome.
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