Leather-face it, my money and time got massacred

Long before Michael Myers, Jason Voorhees and Freddie Kruger graced the slasher genre I came to love, there was a cutting edge (no pun intended), widely banned, low budget flick in 1974 from director Tobe Hooper about a f*$#&d up Texas redneck family with a six-feet tall idiot who wears a stitched-up leather facemask and wields a chainsaw to cut up his victims.  From this inauspicious beginning, 'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre' became one of the most beloved and successful horror franchises of all time, spawning three sequels (all bad), a reboot (pretty good), a prequel (not bad), and now a 3D treatment (read on).

 

More specifically, TCM started the 'Cabin in the Woods' subgenre in movies such as 'Wrong Turn' and 'The Hills Have Eyes,' the defining characteristics of which include deformed backwood hillbilly inbreds and farm tools as the implement of choice, not to mention a general dirty oily sweaty grungy-ness to the characters, be they predator (Leatherface and his 'family') or prey (attractive twenty-somethings who more often than not also tend to be horny).

 

The latest offering in this long-running franchise, 'Texas Chainsaw Massacre:3D,' pretty much followed the same formula as the others, with its four young victims (2 male, 2 female of course) looking as hot & horny and ready for the slaughter as any who 'came' before (sorry, but I just couldn't resist the double entendre).  One of them (Alexandra Daddario) even bore more than a passing resemblance to my 1990's crush Tiffany Amber Thiessen back in her 90210 heydays.  And there is a twist in this story, which the movie hinted at in its opening 'flashback' scene.  But even with this unexpected 'twist,' the movie lacked tension and suspense.  Also, none of the characters were worth caring for, like I did to some extent for Jessica Biel and Jordana Brewster in the previous two installments.

 

So, even though 'Leatherface' has slaughtered the box-office once again on this first weekend of the new year, I can't quite bring myself to recommend this movie, especially when you have to justify paying extra for watching it in 3D (which TCM definitely does not warrant the use of).  Sorry, 'Leatherface,' better luck next time.

Grade: C-minus